Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize