The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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