He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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