She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
