i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
