You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
