I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
well, you know. whores of a feather.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
