By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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