So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
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