I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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