then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
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