thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize