This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
