i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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