her vagina looked like bernie madoff
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
i dont even know how to be here
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
