Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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