Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
