We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
