its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
