I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
