Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Rumble strips road head = magical
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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