take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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