i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize