Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I'm always down for nudity.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
