ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
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