jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Randomize
