She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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