Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
