You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
