This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
