this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
