white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
