I wish I could punch you in the face.
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
