That's intense
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
