Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
