after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
