why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize