He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
