Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Randomize
