I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
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