Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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