I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
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