I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
