Moan for me like Helen Keller
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Randomize
