Three words: puerto rican gang bang
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
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