I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
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