p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
