I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
