I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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