"it" just moved
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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