sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
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