just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
