Rock
Scissors
Fuck
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
and she was petting her beer can
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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