Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
high people should be assigned attendants
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
it's like heaven, but drunker
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
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