Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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