Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
