This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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