did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Im part way to drunk.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
