Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
