Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
