I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
