I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
