why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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